Dear kiddos,
We love you. Parents love their children. They provide a safe, loving place of refuge for you to come to. Always. I'm 37 years old and I know I can go home anytime. Always. You, littles, tweens, teens and so forth, you are just starting out on this wonderful journey through life. It's a rough and tough journey full of things we don't want to do. But, for the most part, we do those things anyway. Why? Because it's right. Because it's good. Because it's helpful. Because it will make us better versions of ourselves. Disciplined.
I know. That words strikes that "ugh" cord. I hear your brain sqeaking right now. Discipline = punishment. Punishment = grounded/loss of privileges/ruined life.
I'm talking about a different word: disciplined. See that "d" at the end? It gives that word a whole new meaning.
A disciplined woman can control herself. No chocolate splurge after supper. Workout every day. Clean the bathrooms each week. Why? Because this life God gave us is a gift and we are meant to make the most of it. To not overindulge. To care for our earthly bodies. To keep our lives in order and maintain our households.
As children, we were expected to pick up our coats and shoes, putting them in their proper places so we could find them when we needed them again. We were expected to help set the table and clean up after dinner. Put away the leftovers, wipe off the table, load the dishwasher and turn off the lights when all the cleanup was complete.
As teenagers, we were expected to wash our clothes, fold and put them away if we wanted to have clean clothes for school and clean uniforms for sports/activities. To wash our cars, put gas in them and take them in for oil changes as needed.
As college students we had to pay bills, get ourselves up and off to class in the morning, maintain a clean and orderly dorm room/apartment, keep up with homework and a job.
As young professionals we realized somewhere along the way we had become adults. We were self-sufficient, contributing members of society. We were *gasp* responsible and disciplined grown-ups!
How did that happen? When we were infants we couldn't do anything for ourselves. God blessed us with parents to feed, bathe, care for and guide us. Teach us. Love us. Mold us into the adults we would one day become. Adults that would bless those around them, their friends, family and spouses with their ability to pitch in and lend a hand. Help out. Do the things nobody wants to do (but we do them anyway) because that's how life works. That's what it takes to have a household into which we aren't ashamed to welcome an unannounced visitor. To have a household that isn't gross and disgusting. Just like those shoes and coat, car and dorm room/apartment. If we wanted to keep those things we had to take care of them. To show that we were responsible enough to deserve them. That we were disciplined.
Again I hear your brain working:
"So what?"
"I'll still grow up and be an awesome adult without helping out now."
"My parents chose to have kids. It's not my fault we require cleaning up after."
"I'm busy with ______________ (dance/gymnastics/cheerleading/homework/music lessons/work/friends...)"
My dear, sweet child, find a quiet room. Turn off the lights. Get comfortable, close your eyes and do me a solid. Begin a prayer in your mind with this thought to get you started: "What if I woke up tomorrow without all the things I forgot to thank God for today?"
(Pause for time to consider this. Really think about it. Do it. Really do it.)
There's a lot to remember to thank the Lord for, amIright?
Now, in case you forgot the point of this letter, do it again and remember to be thankful for all the little things. The things your parents do for you. Buy groceries. Cook meals. Wash dishes. Vacuum floors. Clean bathrooms. Do your laundry.
Now, let's think about what their prayer would sound like...
What little things would your parents be thankful that you did for them today?
How did you bless them today?
How did you make their hearts fill with pride and joy, thankfulness and love?
How are you showing them that you are growing into that responsible and disciplined child/tween/teen/young adult/adult they pray for you to become?
How are you displaying your appreciation and thankfulness to God for providing you with this blessed life?
I know this is getting a bit lengthy, so I promise to wrap it up soon, but I have a few final thoughts and one challenge for you.
Thoughts:
1. Be appreciative. Every day. Think that thought and say that prayer every night before you go to sleep.
2. Pitch in and help out. Do those things that mom and dad may not have the time to do. Do those things that need to be done. Do them without being asked and see how incredible the response from the parental units is. Your heart will be filled with pride at your own work. I promise.
3. Choose your friends wisely. In this time of your life you are not only defined by your own words and actions, but by those you associate with. Someday you'll regret some of your relationships. That's a guarantee, but you can be intentional about your future. About how you live your life.
4. Those friends that tell you they don't have to help out at home? They are one of two things: a) liars b) spoiled brats who will find adult life challenging and difficult due to their inability to care for themselves. They are the ones you make fun of now for living in their parent's basement at age 24, 30, 35...
Challenge:
There's a book out there that I've heard incredible things about. I've never read it, but here's my challenge to you: let's read it together. I'll get a copy this weekend and over Christmas break, we'll dive headfirst into this book together and when you have questions you don't want to ask anyone else, you can ask me. If I don't know the answer, I'll find one. A good one. Promise.
Here's the link to the book:
Do Hard Things
If you don't have the money to buy it, check the library or ask mom/dad if they can add it to your Christmas gifts this year. I promise it will be worth it!
Love you forever and always,
Your Parents
*This letter was lovingly penned by Kristin Herrera - mom of two littles learning to be responsible, disciplined adults someday down the road. Yes, they do chores. They clean up meals, help with laundry, clean up their toys and feed their pets. At 3 and 6, I think that's pretty awesome. And on the days they volunteer to unload the dishwasher without being asked, well, my heart explodes with pride and joy, thankfulness and love for those littles.
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